Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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