Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
