I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
