my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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