and you said cock pushups were impossible
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
