It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
