that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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