I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
