So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
