If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
