My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
