You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
