omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
