i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
