Yo dont text me then not text me
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
