she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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