Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
