I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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