The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
