Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
