MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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