at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
