allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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