In the future we'll all be gay
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize