I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
