I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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