I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
