i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
