Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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