Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
