she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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