Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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