I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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