what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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