Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
