the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
