left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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