if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
