You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Enjoy the penises
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
