I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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