You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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