Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
