fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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