Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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