You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
two words: eviction party
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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