my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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