I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
