You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I lost the right to judge tonight
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
