I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
