The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
