I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
